Some dinosaurs are considered to be as intelligent as birds, this is not so with Ankylosaurus, unless the bird in question is a Kentucky fried chicken!

It is mean, stupid, big, ugly, stupid, bad tempered and stupid. It is quite impossible to teach this animal anything, not even the simplest of tricks. It will however learn tricks of its own, like plonking itself in front of the fire all winter. If you have ever been in a room in the dead of winter with a thirty five foot Ankylosaurus blocking the fire you will know what I mean!

Another trick that this creature quickly picks up is to turn round in doorways, this always results in the complete destruction of the door, possibly the wall and sometimes the house.

Why anyone would want to keep one for a pet is completely beyond me. You can not even use them as a vaulting horse because they will not stay where you put them, that is assuming you can get them in the right position in the first place. I suppose you could try standing on its back to peer over the wall of your local football ground, but it would most likely wander off or knock the wall down which could leave you in a very embarrassing situation.

If you are determined to keep one for a pet, you would be well advised to have a purpose built house constructed of very thick reinforced concrete with, of course, as few doorways as possible.

Some people in the demolition business keep an Ankylosaurus or two to help with the more difficult assignments, demolishing  nuclear fallout shelters and the like. They have even been used by certain criminal organisations to attempt to break into bank vaults and armoured security vans. To date none of these have been successful, undoubtedly due to the creatures stubbornness and stupidity, rather than its lawabiding nature.

The Army once tried to use these beasts to tow tanks out of ditches, the experiment was abandoned though because once on the move they could not easily be stopped, this resulted in tanks and their crews being dragged for miles across country usually ending up in a deeper ditch than the one they started in.