If you should fancy something a bit different for a pet, and you just happen to have an Olympic size swimming pool in your back garden, you might consider keeping an Ichthyosaur.

Ichthyosaurs are very friendly creatures and magnificent swimmers, they are a delight to watch as they leap out of the water or swim swiftly around their pool. It may be a temptation, but I must strongly advise against jumping in with them. They do get very excited and they do have very sharp teeth.

Although you will not be able to take your pet for a walk, it is possible to give him a change of scenery. All you need is a large tank mounted on the back of a low loader and away you go.

The Lake District is a very popular place for people to take their Icthyosaurus' for a good swim. On a sunny day it is a wonderful sight to see them frisking in the lakes, chasing the odd, brave, water skier, or standing on their tails, begging for tit-bits from people cowering on the landing stage.

However tempted you may be, you must resist letting you pet swim in the local canal. Canals are almost always lined with fishermen. This can pose a few problems, Icthtyosaurus will not normally go looking for worms, they are a bit small for him, but, if he is presented with a line of them, just hanging there in the water he may well feel like a snack. The speed of an Ichthyosaurus under water is quite incredible, and should he take a fishermans bait while the poor chap is holding on to his rod, it is more than likely that he will be pitched, head long into the canal, followed very shortly by the next, and then the next and so on. In a matter of moments a half mile stretch of canal bank can be totally cleared of fishermen, this means that the same half mile of canal, the water that is, will be full of them, very cross, very wet and bent on revenge.

Another problem with canals is the boats, they will not do any harm to your pet, but, canal boats have a very shallow draft, that is, there is not much under the water, they also have flat bottoms. This is all very well for normal sailing on the canal where there are not normally any waves, that is until an Ichthyosaurus swims past them at about forty knotts. This can create a wave of sufficient velocity to roll over a sixty foot narrow boat, dumping the occupants straight into the canal, making them very cross, very wet and bent on revenge.