Keeping dinosaurs is not a matter to be taken lightly, you must give great consideration to their well being and comfort, not to mention their diet.

Firstly one must consider your own surroundings, it is after all not a good idea to try and keep a large sauropod in a fourteenth floor flat! Also if you should have a large estate, a single small dinosaur would feel rather lost.

Dinosaurs come in two main categories, large and hungry and small and hungry, they can be further divided into carnivorous and herbivorous groups.

Small carnivorous hungry dinosaurs can cause problems with neighbours if not properly supervised while large carnivorous dinosaurs can swiftly eliminate the problem of unsupervised neighbours, though this in turn may cause problems with their relatives, or the police. At this point your pet will most likely be full and fast asleep in a corner somewhere, leaving you to face the music alone.

Small herbivorous hungry dinosaurs are probably a good place to start your dinosaur keeping hobby, as on the whole they are not too difficult to manage, although, they can do considerable damage to a small garden if left unattended. 

Large herbivorous hungry dinosaurs on the other hand can easily demolish all the gardens for miles around! Therefore, great consideration must be given, not only to your own needs, but also to those of your proposed pet.

Dinosaurs are almost always sold as eggs, this makes life much easier for the pet shops as they can keep carnivores and herbivores on the same shelves, without them falling off or eating each other.

Eggs used to be available by mail order, but since a Megalosaurus hatched out in South Mimms Post Office and managed to remain hidden until it was big enough to do considerable damage to property and personnel, the mail order facility has been withdrawn by the GPO.

When buying your dinosaur egg, do make sure that you go to a reputable dealer and do make sure that your receipt specifies the type of dinosaur, this can save you a lot of trouble should your docile herbivore hatch out and promptly eat the cat! Under no circumstances should you try and return an incorrect dinosaur by post.

When you become the proud owner of your first dinosaur egg, you must first find a nice warm place to keep it until it hatches, an airing cupboard is probably the best place. Do not be tempted to keep it in your pocket, you may have bought a herbivore, but mistakes do happen.

Always leave a little food by your egg, a newly hatched dinosaur is always hungry and its first action is always to go in search of food and even a newly hatched Scolosaurus can go straight through an airing cupboard door in its search.

Carniverous dinosaurs must always be kept well fed. If you follow this simple rule you will find your pet good natured and reasonably docile and you can expect a long and happy relationship. It is easy to spot the foolhardy owners who ignore this rule, they are usually missing the odd arm or leg.

Insurance is a must if you propose to keep dinosaurs, it can also be quite a big expense. Cover for a small herbivore or two, should you live miles out in the country, should not be too difficult, or too expensive. On the other hand, cover for a large carnivore kept in a flat in the center of a large city can be almost impossible to get, or monstrously expensive if you can find a company to cover you.

You will never earn a no claims bonus with a herbivore, for some reason no insurance company will give one, on the other hand quite dramatic discounts for no claims are offered on all carnivore policies. Do not let this influence your choice of insurance company though, to date no keeper of a carnivore has gone long enough without a claim to earn any discount at all. It is far more likely that the company will cancel your policy after your first three or four claims.

Another thing to remember is that all dinosaur policies are third party only. That means that you, personally, are not covered and you cannot claim should your pet playfully nip off an arm or two, nor can your estate claim should you be eaten.